Saying I Do!

Marriage is not something we just decide to do on a whim, at least I hope not. The decision to marry is part of a long process. There are four distinct steps in the marriage process and each step has a specific purpose. Notice I said distinct not vague or abstract. Those steps are:

1. Date -

• Date a variety of people and do a variety of activities to see what you like and what you don't like. In other words think of those you date as ice cream flavors. You must try all the flavors to decide which is your favorite.

2. Courtship -

• Most people now-a-days don't court someone as was done years ago. But this time can be considered your "trial run." You are dating this person but you continue to do a variety of activities to get to know one another to see if you mesh.

 3. Engagement -

• You now have a ring on her finger and a date set. You are both saying, "We will marry!" During this time you and your fiance should be making decisions together, practicing sacrificing for and with each other, establishing boundaries around your new relationship and family system, solving problems, and relying on each other.
• An important thing to remember during this time is that you should spend more time planning your marriage than planning your wedding. Your wedding will be one day, but your marriage will last forever.

4. Marriage -

• Finally you are married and as such your first priority is one another. During this time you each should be attentive to one another. Go on a honey moon away from everyone else. Take this time to be husband and wife and to become a new family distinct from all others.