New Direction

     I wanted to change directions with the use of this blog. I have been using it to give an update on our family from time to time, but obliviously that hasn't happened for a while now. I also need to start journaling again in my personal life. Therefore, the new purpose of this blog is to be my journal! Wa-hoo! Now before you get all weirded out that I will write very personal things on here that are TMI for you, that's not really what I'm going for. I just wanted a way to write a little about what's going on in my life and my family's life, and maybe a little about what I am feeling. So, basically it's the same as before as far as updates just with a little more of myself thrown in there. :)
     

Doing Things

      Wow! It has been a busy 2 weeks! I use to wonder how people got so much done in a day, especially stay-at-home-moms. I mean they take care of the kids, cook, clean, run errands, etc. How do they do all that?! Well, I finally figured it out! They DO it! They don't just sit around watching Netflix all day; they get up and they do what needs to be done. So that's what I've been trying to do! And man does it work! I feel like I can accomplish so much in a day now! I can watch Penny, do the laundry, make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, work, and even have time to do some of my hobbies. And I still watch Netflix, just not all day like I used to.

     Here are a few other things that have happened:

Penny got her 6 month shots. Boy did she not like those!

Penny is eating more solids!

• Penny is getting so close to crawling! Wa-hoo! and also Uh-Oh! Time to baby proof!
• Brad is almost finished with his 2nd quarter of Grad School! One more quarter and he'll have one year under his belt!
• We got a new vacuum! It's a little $40 Dirt Devil! It works great! Our floors are so much cleaner! I don't have to worry about Penny eating dirt on the floor anymore! 



Penny modeling one of Benjamin's bandanas

• I've been sewing up a storm making things for my sister's little boy Benjamin that's due in May! I made him little black cowboy boots and bandana bibs! They are super cute!

• Brad, Penny, and I celebrated Valentines Day with a picnic at the park. We played a matching game with Hershey's kisses. Penny saw some little ducks too. It was nice and relaxing and fun. We then went grocery shopping. How romantic I know. 

The pin on the bear says "My future OD loves me"

  AND

• I completed Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD! I am so proud of myself for sticking with it!

 I'm not very good at sticking with exercise programs because I either get bored or the workouts are too long. 20-30 minutes is just right.

I decided to do the 30 Day Shred because it was short and I knew it was challenging since I had done it in High School. Thing is I had never put real effort into it. I didn't change my eating habits eithero this time around I was determined to do it and do it right!

The new me!

There were days where I fought with myself to make myself do the workouts. I try to workout during Penny's morning naps. So, it's morning and I was usually tired and just wanted to take a nap. I had to remind myself why I started it and why I wanted to get through ALL 30 days! I felt so much better though after doing the workouts on the days I didn't really want to.

As far as eating goes, I tried to eat healthier. Tried being the key word because it didn't always happen. I have been reading Eat This, Not That books to help me with my goal of feeding my family good, wholesome meals. I have been learning what food is "good" and which is "bad" and how to tell the difference. I've also been following different instagram accounts about clean eating. This got me motivated to clean up my eating. Therefore, I made a list of clean foods and got them when Brad and I went to the store for Valentines Day! :)

I didn't get drastic results. They were subtle yet significant! I feel stronger, my body feels tighter (which is especially important after having a baby!), and I feel like I have more energy! I didn't take any measurements or my weight because it wasn't about how much I lost; for me it was about how I felt physically, emotionally, and spiritually! And I have to say that I feel great!

My plan now is to do Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 DVD and eat clean by doing meal prepping. It's kind of like making freezer meals except they are individually portioned. This will not only help me, but will also help my husband so he can take nutritious meals to school for lunch! I am excited about this lifestyle change I am making!

What 2014 Has Taught Me So Far

Here it is already in February and I've been meaning to write a post since the start of the year! My procrastination is starting early this year! But I would like to use this blog to write a little bit about what is happening in my life and what's going on with my family. Kind of like a journal I guess. :)

First off, I wanted to give a little recap of 2013. Here are a few things that happened:

• I graduated from Brigham Young University-Idaho
• I was pregnant
• Brad got accepted to Optometry School
• We moved to Fullerton, California

And the MOST EXCITING:

• I gave birth to our baby girl: Penelope Ann

Now for the New Year 2014!

I was trying to think of some goals I wanted to work on this year when it hit me: I need to learn to love cooking! I can cook - I just don't really like to. That's what it comes down to. Eating is such a chore for me. Deciding what to eat first, making it, and then finally eating it. Ugh! Takes forever! I'd much rather just sit on my butt and not eat because lets face it I'm lazy.

Lets be clear - by cooking I don't just mean cooking dinner, but making other things as well - like bread. In a nutshell, I just wanted to learn how to cook everything and to love doing it. My thought process was that if the pioneers could take care of their babies, do all their chores, and make everything from scratch then I should defiantly be able to do the same! Especially with all our technology like washers and dryers, dishwashers, phones, kitchen aids, etc that are suppose to make life easier. Needless to say, I had made an enormous goal!

I was determined though so I gathered recipes from homemade mayonnaise (success) to bread (success-but dense) to tortillas (success) to english muffins (never attempted). I diligently strove to make something every few days as well as make dinner every night. It was going surprisingly well. I was exercising daily, playing with Penny, sewing for work, and cooking! WOW! I felt great! but also a little overwhelmed! It was so hard to do with a little baby. I wanted to play with her all day and would feel bad that I wasn't when I was cooking but would also feel so accomplished for making something from scratch.

Then I got sick for a week....and it totally killed my motivation for everything! Cooking, exercising, being productive, etc. What a drag! I felt kind of defeated!

The feelings of failure really sank in for me when my husband said that so and so was a really good cook and kept telling me to go talk to her and get help with cooking (and this girl is a friend and is very nice). I felt terrible. I was trying SO hard to be good at cooking but I still couldn't make anything that my husband liked more than anyone else's (or so it seemed). *SIDE NOTE* my husband is really sweet and eats everything I make even though I am not the world's greatest chef. Anyway, I broke down crying! My husband (bless his heart for trying to make me feel better) felt bad so he told me that he really does like my cooking, but that sewing was my strong point.

After thinking about it the whole next day I came to this realization: I can't be that mom. At least not right now. I will probably never be that mom that makes gourmet dinners. But I can still learn new things about cooking to develop that talent. I can't do every thing right now and I realized that I don't have to. It will come with time. I also realized that even though I'm not the greatest cook, I can still make good, healthy meals for my family. After all that's really what a good mom does right? Feeds her family as best she can. As long as I am trying my best that is what matters! What I can do is good enough!

Therefore, I am amending my goal to this: learn to make good, wholesome, healthy meals for my family by starting slow. Plan for a weeks worth of dinners instead of a whole month, collect recipes here and there instead of all at once, get wholesome food items even if it is a bit more expensive (I say this because I've been reading Eat This Not That Supermarket Survival Guide and have been learning the difference between what really is healthy and what isn't and how to tell the difference). It will take time and a whole lot of patience, but I know that as I continue to learn I can eventually be able to do everything I want to. I can, one day, be SuperMom!

The "D" Word: Divorce

          Divorce peaked in the 1970's as a result of the no-fault divorce law, but has been on a mild decline. It is said that 50% of marriages end in divorce. This isn't true, however, because it is hard to track. It may be the same people marrying and then divorcing. The reality is that 75% of people stay happily married. So don't be afraid to make the commitment.

President Spencer W. Kimball gives a never failing formula for marriage success. It is:

1. very careful selection & marriage in the right way
2. great unselfishness
3. continued courtship & affection
4. keep the commandments

Marriage is instituted to help you become a new person -like our Heavenly Father. You have a lot of power and choices.

Parenting

Why do people want to have kids and be parents? I mean in 2009 it was estimated that the cost of raising one child from birth to age 17 was $221,000! That's a lot of money! There are plenty of reasons couples choose to have children and why some opt out.

Why People Want to Have Children

• Experience of happiness in a family
• Personal fulfillment
• Personal & family legacy
• Personal status
• Religious beliefs
• Social expectations

Why People Opt Out

• Personal Fulfillment
• Focus on career
• Economic costs of children
• Focus on marriage
• Doubts about parenting skills                                                                                   

Most of the reasons why people opt out of having children are for selfish reasons or out of fear. The reality is having a child is always going to be scary whether it's your first child or your fifth! And parenting is always going to require sacrifice on your part to meet the needs of the child. There will never be a good enough reason not to have kids unless it puts the mother's life in danger! The benefits of parenthood far outweigh the benefits of being childless. So why is parenting so important?

The Purposes of Parenting

• to develop patience & selflessness & unconditional love
• to teach us & children
• intergenerational patterns established/perpetuated
• to continue learning
• to approximate God's role; change our relationship with Him

 

*Parenting does just as much for the parent as it does for the child*

Children are not well accepted in today's world. Many adults see today's children as spoiled and rude. All I can say to that is that if children act that way it is their parent's fault! That's right I said it it the parent's fault! Parents are responsible to teach their children. If parents don't teach their children they will learn from other sources: the world! So what should parents teach their children? A guy by the last name of Popkins says children should be taught four things:

1. Cooperation - working with others
2. Mutual Respect - demonstrate it instead of just demanding it)
3. Responsibility - giving children choices and consequences. It's teaching them to respond
4. Courage - from the heart - a risk with a desired outcome. Encourage kids!

Parenting is the biggest responsibility, but it is also the biggest opportunity for you to influence someone for the better. Who wouldn't want that kind of an opportunity?!

Working Together as Families

          What do you want to be when you grow up? is a common question little children are asked. Some want to be police men while others want to be artists. However, you never hear the response, "I want to be a father or a mother." Why is that? Such roles are devalued in our culture and society now-a-days. Women required to stay home with the children are "oppressed" because they can't go out and earn money. The world seems to think that how much money you earn determines your worth. This just isn't so. In Kathleen Slaugh Bahr and Cheri A. Loveless's article Family Work, they discuss the importance and purpose of family work. In today's fast paced world we are constantly looking for new ways of doing things more effectively and efficiently. Bahr and Loveless state that this takes away from the purpose of family work of talking, playing, and serving one another. I would urge everyone to read their article. 

          Another interesting fact about mothers with children that work is that they are actually paying to work. For example, say the husband makes around $43,000 a year and the wife makes around $23,000 a year. The family should be making around $66,000 a year right? Wrong! The family actually only makes $41,500 a year. Why? Child care services like day care or preschool are pretty pricey. It really isn't that economical for mothers to go to work. That doesn't mean that mothers can't work from home. If they did they would still get paid but not have to pay for daycare or gas to go to and from work everyday. :)

Communication & Conflict in Marriage

     The eyes of my understanding were opened this week to the miracle and purpose of communication, listening, and counseling. This week we read about communication and conflict in marriage. I felt like these topics specifically applied to me because I am a terrible communicator especially when it comes to resolving conflict with my husband. Growing up we didn't talk about our feelings very much - it just wasn't something we regularly did. And I still don't like to talk about my feelings - why I'm angry or sad, etc. It drives my husband crazy. After this week's reading I discovered that when conflict arises I am an avoider. I would much rather keep the peace and not talk about it and fight and argue. You would think that this would be good right - avoiding fighting. However, it is destructive to a relationship because issues are never discussed. If issues are never discussed then anger and frustration builds up inside until you only see the negative. I have truly learned this week that it is important to discuss your feelings and concerns. But the trick to fighting effectively is using "I" statements such as 'I really like when the dishes are done' or 'I am concerned about this or that'. No one likes the blame game especially if you're the one being blamed. Using "I" statements attacks the issue and not your partner. I don't always use "I" statements, but I am trying to do better. I can tell you though that when I do use "I" statements I am more calm when my husband and I discuss issues and the conflict gets resolved more effectively and I don't feel attacked and angry in the end as I usually do.
     I also learned of the importance of councils and counseling with our councils. There is a proper way to council. It is effective at solving problems because every member of the council has the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings and ideas. It is an open discussion where every one is respected. Proper counseling seeks to find truth not to "win" or to be "right." I strongly recommend reading Elder M. Russell Ballard's October 1993 and April 1994 General Conference talks, Strength in Counsel and Counseling with Our Councils. Elder Ballard teaches the Lord's way of counseling.